C is for Christ

I was baptized when I was 9 years old...I remember it vividly. It was at Greenfield Acres Baptist Church in Odessa, Texas. It was my great-grandmothers church. She was (and still is) singlehandedly the biggest Christian influence in my life. She is now 87 years old and I adore her on the same level that I adore my own mother on. To this day I can walk into that church (where she still plays the organ) and she will get up and speak of my days in that church as a child. She will tell the entire congregation (all maybe 50 of them, most of whom I know) about how I used to take my Cabbage Patch doll (Jennifer) to church with me and sit in the front pew and never say a word. This used to embarrass me, now it touches my heart deeply!

As an adult, I have certainly gone through ups and downs in my relationship with God. A few years ago I started going to church with my mother. This was a HUGE deal to me because my mother never went to church. In Odessa and again after moving to Oklahoma as a child I always went to church with my sister and cousins. Faith was a big part of who I was even as a child. Saying that, it still always has been, no matter what I've been doing or where I've been in my life, prayer and faith are sometimes the only thing that can comfort me and bring me great amounts of peace.

When Cliff left I had found a good spot for me if that makes sense. I would get up earlier than the kids, come in the living room read the Bible and have prayer time. After awhile though, I began having anxiety issues and not sleeping well and my time in the morning where I could sleep later seemed more important. I always pray but I don't live my life ideally or even have any more than a few minutes a day focusing on God. Sometimes I still feel like because I have girls night out a couple times a month I'm not worthy. My grandmother snapped me out of that really quick when she made a comment about she knows someone else who can enjoy the wine a little too much....clearly she was speaking of herself. Totally made me giggle, to picutre my 87 year old grandmother drunk off wine!!

I've been giving my relationship with God a LOT of thought lately. Last night I rolled over to go to sleep with Braden behind me and he said to me "Mama, let's not forget my prayers." Funny how the faith of a five year old boy can open his mother's eyes like that. I helped him find his faith...now he's helping me get back to mine:)

As I start my BFL challenge today I'm also challenging myself spiritually to gain back the strength in my relationship with God. I haven't been going to church since my mom's surgery, so I didn't have to go alone. This Sunday the kids and I will go for sure....as I sit here I am thinking to myself I am NEVER alone!! That thought alone brings me great comfort!